


sway me away from here

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [46]
Category: EXID (Band), EXO (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Androids, Angst, Asexuality, Byun Baekhyun-centric, Drama, F/M, Hospitals, Lost Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 02:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Baekhyun had his memory extracted after a motorcycle accident, and, with the help of the android with who he falls in love with, he tries to find his way back to the truth, one that might be more painful and twisted than he had expected.





	sway me away from here

**Author's Note:**

> hope you'll enjoy:)

 

PART 1

 

_3 days after the accident_

 

Baekhyun woke up on a strange bed. The sheet were cool underneath his touch, scratchy, as he slid his fingers across them. A light flickered above his head.

“Where am I?” he said, but his voice was barely a whisper, scratching the inside of his throat. “Where am I?!”

“In the hospital.” someone said.

He tried to turn his head, but he couldn’t. The ceiling was all that he could see.

“Don’t move too much…you’ve just woken up from surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“Yes…”

He heard shuffling, the bed shifting right next to him. A warm hand covered his, but didn’t stay there for long enough.

“You had an accident…a motorbike accident and they needed to…”

“What did they need to do?” he asked.

“Cut into your brain…your hippocampus was affected so they…the doctors cut it out.”

“Where am I?!” Baekhyun yelled, trying to move his head.

“It’s alright. You are in the hospital.”

“Hospital…” he whispered.

“You had a motorbike accident and the doctors removed your hippocampus.” the person said, squeezing his hand.

“Who are you?”

“Kyungsoo. Your boyfriend.”

“I can’t remember anything.” Baekhyun said, moving his fingers, one by one.

The lights were too bright, so he closed his eyes.

“I know…but I’m here.” Kyungsoo said.

“Where am I?!” Baekhyun asked.

“In the hospital…” he sighed, standing up. “Is he going to be like this from now on?”

“I’m afraid so…” the man standing in the corner of the room, on a chair, said. “His long term memory has been terminated by removing his hippocampus. What he has now is his short term memory, but not even that lasts for too long, because it cannot be transformed into the long term memory that would be sent to his Cortex.”

“I…I…” Kyungsoo whispered. “I can’t see him struggle like that.”

“There are always options.” the man said. “Specialists that can take care of him.”

“A psychiatric ward you mean? Where he would be treated like one of those patients? He isn’t crazy and that is not his fault…He was really smart when he was normal!” Kyungsoo said.

“Where am I?!!!” Baekhyun yelled, kicking the bed with his fists. “I want to know where I am!!”

“In the hospital. You had an accident.” Kyungsoo said, walking towards the bed.

“And who are you?”

“I’m your boyfriend.” he tried to smile, holding his hand. “Kyungsoo…”

“I don’t remember you or any of this…”

“I know…you’ve lost all your memory.”

“Where am I?” Baekhyun asked.

The ceiling was white and he couldn’t move his head.

“In the hospital…” Kyungsoo sighed. “I’m sorry. Can you take care of him for a while…? I just need to…” he said and ran out of the room, into the hallway that was crowded with people, smelling like any other hospital; of chlorine and detergent, the scent of sickness crammed in small rooms.

He sat down, on the cold tiles and placed his head between his hands. The hallway started spinning with him, even though his eyes were closed. Nothing made sense anymore, not since the night of the accident.

Someone stopped in front of him.

“Where’s Baekhyun?”

“In the room…” Kyungsoo said. “You better not go inside…he’s…he doesn’t remember anything.”

“Oh…it was to be expected, wasn’t it?”

The man sat down next to him, leaving some space between their bodies.

“It was…but that’s torture. For him, for me, for everyone. I can’t deal with that.” he said, placing his head again on his knees, covering it with both arms.

“I brought some food…”

“Thanks…”

“He always managed.”

“Not now…How will I manage, taking him home like that? You know that a clinic costs…how much does it fucking cost?”

“A lot.” the man said, patting his back. “I’ll go see him and then I’ll come back, okay?”

“Okay.”

He stepped inside, knocking at the door. On the bed, with his head covered in white bandages and placed in an immobilizer, there was Baekhyun. Only his face was visible.

“Hey…”

“Who are you?” Baekhyun asked, only able to stare at the ceiling.

“Jongdae. Your friend from back home. Uhm…since we were in kindergartner.”

“I can’t remember anything!!” he yelled, hitting the mattress again and again until he finally stopped.

“Where am I?”

Jongdae looked at the doctor standing in a corner. “Is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

“Most probably.” the man shrugged. “There isn’t much you can do for him in this situation. He can learn some automatic tasks, but nothing more. No memories, if that’s what you wanted to know.”

“Oh…”

Baekhyun kept shouting the same sentence over and over, until he stopped again.

“Where am I?”

“This is…” Jongdae whispered. “Are you just going to stand there and watch?”

“He won’t remember anything in the next 20 seconds. Don’t worry.” the man said.

“Fucking animal.” Jongdae whispered and walked outside the room. “I have an idea. I need some post it notes and a pen.” he said to Kyungsoo, who glanced up at him.

“Why?”

“Can’t you hear him?” Jongdae pointed towards the door. “We’ll write all that he needs to know on them so, when he forgets everything, he’ll be able to read them.”

“He…he…that’s useless. Baekhyun does everything over and over and over again.”

“Stand up.” Jongdae said and grabbed his arm, pulling him up. “Don’t give up on him now, okay? If I don’t, you don’t.”

“I don’t. But right now, what the fuck do you want me to do? That’s not Baekhyun in there!! That’s-that’s a stranger with his face.”

“Don’t do that.” Jongdae shook his head. “Hear me! I loved him as much as you did, even more. So don’t pull that shit on me now.”

Kyungsoo hit his head on the wall and sighed. The spinning was getting worse. Jongdae went inside the room, without him, where Baekhyun was screaming something unintelligible.

“Post-its. Do you have some, and a pen?” he asked the doctor that kept writing something on a notepad.

“Yeah…” he said, looking up at him. “Is that alright?”

The man gave him a stack of them and chewed pen at the end of it; the ink was dried on the plastic, but Jongdae used it anyways.

“Yeah…”

He sat down on a chair just when Baekhyun stopped blubbering.

“Where am I?”

“In the hospital.” Jongdae said.

“Why?”

“You had an accident.”

“Why? How?”

Jongdae sighed, glancing back at him. He stuck two post-it notes on the back of his hand while he was writing the third. “You had surgery and now your memory is gone.”

“Where am I?”

“Are you just standing there to watch?”

“I’m taking notes. Usually, with these patients, the spans are getting longer after some time passes.” the doctor said.

“Sure.” Jongdae sneered.

He was done with the seventh.

“Where am I?!!” Baekhyun yelled again.

The bed creaked and Jongdae lightly touched his hand. “You are safe, with friends. Don’t worry.”

“What’s this room?”

“Here…”

He shuffled around, taking the plastic tray from the night stand and placing it vertically on the bed.

“Can you read those?” Jongdae asked, as he kept sticking the notes on it.

“I’ve been in an accident…” Baekhyun whispered. “My hippocampus, but that means that I have no long term memory anymore.”

“Yup. Technically you are rebooting yourself every 20 seconds.”

“Where am I?”

“Read those.” Jongdae pointed. “How long will it take for his memory spans to get longer?”

“They might not…get longer.” the doctor said.

“Oh…great. So he’ll just act like a broken toy for the rest of his life, making everyone around him crazy too? That’s your plan?” Jongdae asked, stepping away from the bed.

“We are working on a solution. Android parts that might…fix his brain.”

“Android parts.” Jongdae laughed. “You know that he fought for the androids’ rights, right?”

The doctor shook his head, putting the notepad into the front pocket of his coat; an irregular brown stain was right on top of it, Jongdae staring just at it. “We are looking for solutions. A nurse will come to take care of him. Visits are now over.”

“How convenient.”

Kyungsoo was still standing on the hallway, staring at the ceiling, when he walked into the hallway. “How did it go?”

“He stopped screaming.” Jongdae said. “They want…to put android parts in his brain.”

“Wouldn’t that be better?”

“He…you knew him, Kyungsoo…he’d rather live like this than-“

“They are metal objects. With no conscience, soul. He wouldn’t know. He would want to go back to normal. I want him back.”

“You’re so selfish sometimes.” Jongdae said.

“And now you are the good guy in all of this. The only understanding person that he has. Fuck it!” Kyungsoo yelled. “You want him back too. Not that-that…” he kept hitting the wall with his finger until he finally stopped, his hand sliding down to the floor.

“I’m going home. Do what you want.”

“Fine.”

 

_364 days before the accident_

 

“They could make a law, for android rights, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said, standing up from his desk. “I could push a law into the Senate.”

“You would anger a lot of people with that.” he said, putting the tablet down. “You know it…they wouldn’t want the androids to suddenly have rights. Who would do all the dirty jobs then?”

“I could find some supporters. Strong ones. It can be done.”

“You’ll be their target.” Kyungsoo said.

Baekhyun sat down, toying with the edge of the blanket on the bed. “I can handle that.”

“No, you can’t.” he whispered.

“You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I do…” Kyungsoo smiled, holding his hand. “But I don’t want to see you suffer.”

“It’s a good purpose. Great. It would make history. It’s exactly like with the slaves. Someone must do it, find supporters, fight until it’s done. Why can’t humanity just learn from its past mistakes?”

“Because…”

“You don’t agree with me.” Baekhyun whispered.

“I will support you even if I don’t agree.”

“You know that’s not enough. I want you to believe in-“

“I can’t! My mother was killed by a fucking android! Our house was burnt down by a defective android and now you want me to pity them and think they have a conscience when they don’t?! They are not like you and me…”

Baekhyun stood up in silence and gathered all the things scattered on the desk in his arms.

“What are you doing?”

“Going home.” he said.

“Baek!”

“I’m going home. If I don’t…If I don’t…” he whispered.

 

_3 days and a half after the accident_

 

Kyungsoo woke up on a plastic chair, with his neck pounding dully, as one of the lights on the ceiling was flickering its yellow light into his eyes; his throat was dry, aching.

“Coffee?” someone asked.

“Seulgi…”

“You look like shit. Did you sleep here?”

“Seems like it.” he said and took the cup from her hand.

“How is he…?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, stretching his body; all the bones started cracking, staring to his neck to the base of his spine. “The same.”

“Heard so. Another surgery?” she asked, standing up, in front of him, with one hand in a pocket.

Seulgi was dressed in a knee length, emerald chiffon dress that was tied with a brown belt around her middle. Her face was glowing in the yellow lights, as well as her thin lips. She smelled like patchouli, sweet, covering the chlorine scent. Kyungsoo envied her.

“He’s been spoiling you.” he smiled, taking a sip from the coffee. It tasted like sugar and creamer, not much like coffee.

“A little.” she laughed. “I’m sorry. Really.”

“If I didn’t have a conscience, I would have continued my life without…”

“But you do have one, and quite big one, too.”

“Not big enough, it seems like.” he sighed, turning the cup in his hand, reading the name written on the white space.

“You are not Baekhyun, so stop comparing. That-“she pointed towards the closed door, “is none of your fault. Accidents happen. He was unlucky that day, that’s all.”

Kyungsoo sneered.

“Should I go in there…see him?” she asked.

“He won’t remember you.”

“I know…I just, is it really terrible? How he is now, I mean…”

He shrugged, taking another sip. “This is too sweet.”

“Sorry. I’ll go take a look and then come back.” Seulgi said.

She pressed down on the knob and closed the door after she entered, slowly, with a long creak. Kyungsoo would have liked her to leave it ajar, to hear what Baekhyun was going to say. But his shouts were already breaking through the walls.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do that.” she whispered, slamming the door. “I’m sorry.”

“Was it bad?” Kyungsoo asked.

“He…was irritated, I think. And then…” she sat down, on a chair, and brushed a few strands of hair away. “How are you managing?”

Seulgi placed a hand on his thigh, and patted it a couple of times.

“I’m not quite…managing.” Kyungsoo said, trying to smile. “But I think I found a solution for everything.”

“Really?”

“Not sure just yet.”

 

_780 days before the accident_

Baekhyun stepped down from the motorcycle, taking the helmet off while he shook his head, his hair brushing through the air.

“That was the best thing that I’ve done the whole week.” he said.

“Leather pants look good on you.” Kyungsoo smiled as Baekhyun stopped in front of him.

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

He placed both thumbs around the belt hoops, pulling a little until Baekhyun started laughing. “You want me so badly?”

“Maybe…”

“I know you do. You’ve always made it obvious. And I’m so…” he whispered, biting his lower lip.

“Cheap tricks.” Kyungsoo said, pulling a little harder, until Baekhyun was pressed against him.

“Really?” Baekhyun smirked, pushing his hips up until they met his.

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, letting out a long exhale, as he closed his eyes.

“I see that my cheap tricks are still working.” Baekhyun whispered.

“Only because I let them…”

“Of course…”

Baekhyun kissed him once, right at the corner of his lips, licking the skin down to his jaw. He then bit, with his front teeth. “Are you planning on having a beard?” he asked, brushing his fingers over the heated skin.

“You like it?”

“It’s itchy...”

Kyungsoo laughed, kissing him on the tip of his nose. “I love you.” he said.

“Oh, cheap tricks huh? What is this, Mr.?” Baekhyun asked, pressing a finger on his chest.

“Say it.”

He shook his head, laughing.

“Say it. Sayitsayitsayitsayit.”

“I love you.” he whispered.

“Louder.”

“I love you!!” Baekhyun shouted.

 

_6 days after the accident_

“Hey. It’s me, Kyungsoo.”

“I don’t know you.” Baekhyun said, looking up at him. “Where am I?”

“Read the post-it notes.” he pointed towards the plastic tray on the bed.

“Hippocampus… But why? It doesn’t make sense.”

“They said it got affected in the accident and they couldn’t do anything…”

“So after 20 seconds I…”

“Maybe more now. It’s been 3 days.” Kyungsoo said, sitting down on the chair.

“So you are…I’m sorry, but I can’t remember anything.”

“Yeah…it’s okay.”

“Where am I?” he asked.

Kyungsoo sighed, looking down at his feet. “Read the post-it notes.”

“I can’t remember anything.” he said, trying to stand up from the bed. “I can’t remember anything!” Baekhyun yelled, kicking the bed with both fists until a nurse ran inside the room.

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asked.

“A shot. To calm him down.” she said.

“He’s fine. You can’t drug him like he’s some kind of animal!!”

“I’m sorry, sir.” she said, and pushed the needle into his skin and almost immediately, Baekhyun stopped moving.

He remained with his eyes open and mouth ajar, staring at the white ceiling.

“He’s not your animal.”

“He is becoming more violent as days pass. We can’t have a patient run around the hallways in this condition.”

“Well, this condition is all your fault.” Kyungsoo said and stood up, striding out of the room.

He met Jongdae on the hallway, near the entrance in the hospital.

“They’ve drugged him once again.” he said.

“Oh…is he aggressive?”

“Who wouldn’t be in his situation?”

“Maybe…the surgery wouldn’t be such a bad idea. After all…” Jongdae said.

“Now you’ve changed your mind?”

He shrugged. “What’s the right thing to do anyways?”

“You tell me. Seulgi came by too.”

Jongdae laughed, placing both hands in his pockets. “You’d expect more people to come. But they are all afraid of being associated with him.”

“It’s better without people fake crying next to his bed while he screams. Trust me.”

“I suppose.”

“I have an idea…about what I should do.” Kyungsoo said after a while.

“Can you tell me?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” he said. “You would try to stop me.”

“You know I only care about Baekhyun.”

“I suppose I do. So you wouldn’t care as long as he is alright, would you?”

“Depends.” Jongdae said. “Don’t do anything too stupid.”

“Maybe I already did.” Kyungsoo smiled again, shaking his head.

 

PART 2

 

_8 days after the accident_

 

Baekhyun woke up on a strange bed, with the artificial lights bright above his head. His head was pounding, as if someone was repeatedly hitting him with the fists.

“Where am I?” he asked, trying to look around.

“In the hospital.” a voice said. “You’ve came out of surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“You had a hippocampus transplant surgery.” the voice continued, coming closer to where he was. “Now you are alright. Your memory should be alright from now on.”

“What happened?”

“You were in a motorcycle accident and your hippocampus was affected. They had to remove it. And after that, you had the transplant.”

“Who are you?”

“Your doctor. Kim Minseok.”

“I don’t remember anything…” Baekhyun whispered.

“I know. It’s going to be harder for the next few weeks. But once you meet with people you know…everything will get better.”

“But I won’t remember them.”

“You already have a visitor.” Kim Minseok said. “Do you want to see him? If you don’t feel ready, then he can come another day.”

“No…I want to…”

Kim Minseok opened the door and whispered something that Baekhyun couldn’t understand. It fully opened but he couldn’t see the person that came inside the room. Shuffling, footsteps on the tiles and a chair being dragged across the floor, next to the bed.

“Hey…I’m Jongdae.”

“Are you my friend?” he asked.

“Best friend, actually. Since kindergarten.”

“Oh…I’m sorry, but I don’t remember anything.”

“I know. It’s fine.” Jongdae said.

“So…is there anyone else to come or was I a loner in my past life? You know, it’s like I’ve been reborn, reincarnated, but not as a baby, but as a fully grown adult.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Something like that. Uhm…you didn’t have many friends, or good ones at least. Mostly, not many people know about your accident.”

“Did I have a girlfriend?” Baekhyun asked. “That would be nice.”

Jongdae laughed. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Oh. So I was a loner, after all.” he said.

“If you want to call it that way.”

“This is so strange. Like I’ve been offered a second chance or something. Erasing everything with a sponge and starting from zero. It kind of sucks though.” Baekhyun said. “Because for the rest of you I’m still that me, but for me, he is only a stranger.”

“I think you should…” Kim Minseok said, moving towards them, but then, Baekhyun’s body started trembling, harder and harder, until it turned stiff on the bed, his eyes going in the back of his skull.

“Clear the room. He’s having a seizure.” the man said.

“Is he going to be alright?”

“Clear the room.” he said, as two nurses rushed inside, pushing along a metal table with some machines on them.

Jongdae went outside, closing the door as he could still hear the doctor’s voice and the ones of the nurses. He sat down on a chair and looked at his nails, picking at the skin around the cuticles. The hallway was empty at that time.

Midnight. Out the window, the street was empty. Seconds kept passing, slowly, as he watched the hands on the watch tick, tick, tick. A minute went by. One more and another one. The door finally opened.

“How is he?” he asked.

“Fine. Stable. That might happen more often than we thought.” Kim Minseok said, placing both hands on his hips. “It’s a delicate period…especially since those aren’t android parts. Organs are…unpredictable. He might reject the transplant.”

“And then…?”

“We start from base one again.” he said. “Don’t worry. He’ll be alright.”

The night passed without any more incidents. Jongdae slept on a blue, plastic chair in the hallway, waking up at the faintest sounds. Morning was grey, covered in purple clouds that looked like sliced bellies of whales, with bodies scattered among the trees.

“Coffee?”

“Thanks.” he smiled. “Is Sehun with you?” Jongdae asked.

“Yes. He’s parking the car.” Seulgi said, sitting down next to him. “The last time I came, Kyungsoo was sleeping on the exact same chair.”

Jongdae smiled, stirring into the cup. “I suppose you gave him coffee too?”

“Here he comes.” she smiled, looking at a man dressed in a navy sweater who striding towards them, holding the same red cup in his left hand.

“How is he?”

“Stable…nothing much.”

“Is his memory back?”

“He…won’t remember anything from before the accident, so he has no idea who we are.” Jongdae said.

“Oh, that sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jongdae said, his lips forming a tight line on his face. “It sucks a lot.”

“Are visits allowed? Actually, I’m going to ask a nurse and come back.” Seulgi said.

Her red dress was flowing along the curves of her body, the edges sheer in that light, as her pace increased towards the back of the hallway.

“Have I told you that you are lucky?”

Sehun laughed, taking a sip. “Of course I am. She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“I won’t deny it.”

“Are you going to be his babysitter from now on?”

Jongdae shrugged. “I wouldn’t call it that. I’m…you would do the same for Seulgi.”

“Yeah, but she’s my wife, dude. Not…best friend. It’s different. Anyways, where’s Kyungsoo?”

“Oh…he…it was a bit too much for him. Being here and seeing him suffer like that.”

“Oh…” Sehun nodded.

“We can go see him.” Seulgi said when she returned.

“You go.” Jongdae said. “I need a smoke and then I’ll come too.”

Seulgi gave a short glance to Sehun, who shook his head, but none of the said anything. She pressed the metal knob down and the door opened with a creak. The room was smaller than the one before, the blinds closed, only a lamp turned on in one corner of the room. It smelled like rubbing alcohol and drugs; the plastic bags looked orange in that light, the liquid glimmering as they moved around.

There was only one chair, near the bed.

“Who is it?”

“Seulgi and Sehun.” the woman said, stopping at the end of the bed.

“I don’t know you.”

“We are friends from high-school.” Sehun said. “And Seulgi is my wife.”

“So everyone has someone, except for me.” Baekhyun laughed. “I’m sorry about the light, but anything stronger than that gives me seizures. But that’s some exercise after standing immobile on a bed for days.”

Seulgi laughed, stepping closer to him. His hand was cold underneath hers, thinner that she had remembered.

“You know what I’ve been wondering?”

“No…”

“I’m also paralyzed, but everybody seems to forget that, considering that I have no idea who I am or who you people are. So, I was wondering whether or not I can get an erection, not that I need it or something.” he said.

Baekhyun coughed, and Seulgi looked once again at Sehun, who remained still, with his hands on the headboard.

“So I thought about dirty things. I imagined my android nurse, naked, dressed with those flimsy things that I can’t remember their name right now. But I couldn’t get one. Then I asked the doctor and he told me that I might be able if I rub it, but since you all come and go like it’s a highway, I can’t do that either.” Baekhyun said and burst in a fitful of low giggles that turned into coughs.

“Uhm…” Seulgi whispered. “Back then…you didn’t like women.”

“Oh…”

“But I suppose things can change.”

“I liked men or androids or what?”

“Just men. And androids maybe.” Seulgi said.

“Oh…well, that’s interesting. So maybe if I try to imagine a guy naked, then I can get it hard. Never thought of that before. See? I don’t know that Baekhyun. Even his name is so strange for me. You could call me Peter, and it would be the same for me.”

“Sehun…” Seulgi whispered.

Sehun cleared his throat and walked towards her, placing a hand on her middle. “Well…we are here for you, help you recover and all of that. After they discharge you…we’ve thought that you could live with us, if you want.”

“That’s kind of you. But it’s like moving with some complete strangers for me. Can you come over more often, maybe tell me some stories about myself? I’m curious.” Baekhyun said, shifting on the bed.

“Yes, of course.” Seulgi smiled. “Whenever you want.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and counted his breathes after they had left. It was quiet in the room, except for the ventilator, somewhere in the wall, buzzing all day long.

After a while, the door opened again. He knew the footsteps, their sound on the tiles, as the slippers dragged a little behind. The slight creak of wheels on the floor, catching in the ridges. It smelled warm, like parsley and chicken.

“Chanyeol?” he asked.

“It’s me. I’ll help you stand up.” the man said.

He placed a hand underneath his back while with the other he pushed the pillows up, until they were vertical on the headboard.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Smells good, what you got in there.” he said.

“Chicken soup and mashed potatoes.”

“Fancy today. Was the cook in a good mood? Don’t tell me, he got laid last night.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Something like that.” Chanyeol said and sat down, on the chair.

He took the bowl from the tray, along with the spoon. “Open up.”

“I can eat myself. Thank you very much.” Baekhyun said but opened his mouth anyways. “A bit too salty.”

“Is it?”

“Totally. I suppose the sex was terrific last night.”

Chanyeol laughed, placing the bowl down.

“You know, the cook has a big belly.”

“Really? So…is he penis still visible? Or does he have to pull his belly with both hands so that the woman can sit on top of him?” Baekhyun asked, bursting into laughter.

“Haven’t asked…yet. Isn’t that what humans consider an inappropriate question?”

“How would I know? You see…” Baekhyun said, after Chanyeol fed him another couple of spoons filled with soup, “Everyone that comes to see me is so serious and sad. They just look at me as if I’m about to crack in front of them. It’s quite comical, actually, especially because I knew them before…but now…like, is it possible to not like them? Even if I had liked them in the past?” he asked, as Chanyeol stopped with the spoon near his mouth.

“I can search in my system if you want.”

“No, please don’t. It’s more…rhetorical. I don’t need an answer.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol said.

“Tell me about you. How is it to be an android? Do you have a house, apartment, wife, kids, all of that? Can you marry, actually?”

“I…can’t marry. I live in the hospital.” Chanyeol said, putting the bowl down, on the tray.

He then took the other plate in his hands. Baekhyun looked at his fingers, long and pale, without a trace of imperfections; no moles or scars, bruises or veins coming through. His cheekbones were high, lips just as pale; Chanyeol seemed made out of marble, cold to the touch.

“Isn’t that sad?” Baekhyun asked.

“Maybe…but I don’t know anything else. The hospital is home for me.”

“I could never call this place home…” Baekhyun whispered. “I suppose you can’t marry either. Or have children.”

Chanyeol shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I think I put inappropriate questions at times too.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to apologize to me.” Chanyeol smiled.

“I do. You’re a person after all, and a hell of a great nurse.”

 

_30 days before the accident_

“I’ll do it. A month from now, I’ll do it. I’ll propose the law into the Senate.” Baekhyun said.

“Why a month from now?”

“That’s when the election campaigns start. Sehun is on my side and he’s a strong candidate.”

“For his looks only.” Kyungsoo laughed, turning on the bed until he was pressed against Baekhyun’s back side. “But he might win after all.” he sighed, kissing his shoulder.

His skin tasted salty and tangy, a little bit like sweat, but he didn’t mind it. Kyungsoo brushed his fingers along the spin, feeling the slight tremble of the other’s body as he passed over each vertebra, until he stopped above his ass.

“Do you trust him?” he asked, leaving another kiss, on the back of his neck, right where his hair was ending.

“Should I? He gave me his word.”

“People can take back their word when it’s in their benefit. Sehun is stupid. You know that Seulgi is in charge of everything he does. You need to talk to her.” Kyungsoo said, cupping one ass cheek and squeezing the flesh.

“You don’t want me to propose the law, do you?”

Kyungsoo laughed, pressing his forehead on his shoulder. “Can I stop you?”

“Not really. I’ve made up my mind.”

“Talk to Seulgi. If there’s something in it for her, she’ll do it.”

“Maybe…” Baekhyun whispered. “I saw Jongdae today…”

Kyungsoo kissed his hair and circled his waist with one arm. “What did he say?”

“Not much…”

He sighed, brushing his thumb over his belly.

“You tickle me.” Baekhyun laughed, kicking him in the foot.

 

_38 days after the accident_

Baekhyun spun the wheels faster and faster, until everyone on the hallway was behind him, further away, and he was heading right ahead, between the blue, plastic chair and white, closed doors. He stopped when he reached the end of the hallway, the white wall looking back at him.

“This is fun.”

“People will get angry.” Chanyeol said, stopping behind him. “A wheelchair-“

“I know what a wheelchair is. But it’s fun. Really. Am I supposed to sit and sulk in a smelly room all alone or slide on the hallway?” he asked, looking up at him.

“The doctor said-“

“But what do you say?”

“I…” Chanyeol whispered. “If it makes you happy.”

“Don’t go that far.” Baekhyun laughed. “It’s fun though. I hate that bed. Trust me. Plus, tomorrow I’m leaving so I should just say my farewells to this place, shouldn’t I?”

“You leave?”

“It’s time, don’t you think? 1 month is enough to be in a place like this.” he said and when he looked again at Chanyeol, he was quiet, holding the handles with both hands. “I’m sorry. Again. Maybe the old I was more careful with what he was saying.”

“I…I like you. Like this.” Chanyeol said.

“Thanks.” Baekhyun smiled, touching his fingers with the tips of his own; the skin was still cold, like marble, and he suddenly felt the need to warm it up. “I’ll talk to Seulgi and Sehun about taking you with us.”

“But I’m the hospital’s property.”

“Not anymore.” Baekhyun shrugged. “You’ll be my personal…assistant?”

Chanyeol grinned, turning the wheelchair and pushing it, faster and faster, as he started running down the hallway and Baekhyun raised his arms, closing his eyes. The air was brushing past his cheeks, past his warm flesh with blood rushing right underneath it. It was all black, but he could feel the movement around him, the coolness on his fingertips; the smell of chlorine.

 

“Your assistant?” Sehun asked as Chanyeol was helping Baekhyun get dressed with a pair of washed out jeans and a t-shirt.

“Yes. I could need someone to help me with my everyday things and since I know Chanyeol, why can’t I take him?”

“He’s the hospital’s property, that’s why.”

“Then buy him. I must have some money left or something.” Baekhyun said.

“You won’t afford that. Androids are expensive but since this isn’t a new or a very modern one,” Sehun said, walking closer to Chanyeol, “I suppose he won’t cost that much.”

“Great. So it’s a deal.” Baekhyun smiled.

Chanyeol helped him sit on the wheelchair, holding him up like he weighted no more than a bag of feathers. “Heard him? You won’t have to sleep in this place anymore.”

“I’ve searched through my data base.” Chanyeol said. “I cost 5.000 e-coins. I’m a 5 year android with a useful life of 15 years.”

“He’s pretty cheap, after all.” Sehun said. “I’ll go sign the paperwork. Wait for me in the parking lot. Both of you.”

“What happens after 15 years?” Baekhyun asked as they were going down the hallway, into a big, circular lobby that he hadn’t seen before.

“Cassation.” Chanyeol said.

“Just like that? Can’t they fix your system issues and let you function?”

“It’s not cost effective.” he said, stopping outside, in front of the building.

Baekhyun breathed in the air, not smelling of anything in particular, looking at the long strip of asphalt, scattered with cars that were shining in the sunlight. There were so many noises, so many people, trees and grass. He glanced even higher, on the sky; at the white clouds and black birds, poking through them with their sharp beaks and “It does not hurt.” Chanyeol said.

“What doesn’t it hurt?”

“The shut-down. There’s a button, right on my back, covered by my casing, that someone will press and I’ll stop from functioning. They might recycle some of my pieces, if they are good, but mostly…”

“It’s cruel.” Baekhyun said, looking at him. “I look at you and you look no different than me or any other person. So why should you get killed after your expiry date?”

“I’m a machine.”

“I don’t think so.”

 

_The day of the accident_

Baekhyun was pacing around the office, with his hands behind his back, looking from time to time at the books on the shelves.

“I’m sorry for making you wait.” Seulgi said, closing the wooden door with a barely audible creak.

He could see in the sun rays that were touching the floor, particles of dust flying around, small, round, white.

“It’s alright.”

“Come on, take a sit.” she said, pointing towards a leather chair.

“I want an answer right now.”

“Baekhyun…” Seulgi said, leaning on the desk right in front of the window.

“Will Sehun support me in the Senate or not?”

“It is not that simple…” she sighed, straightening some papers, behind her.

Her dress was touching the floor, black, with small flowers all over it, except for the sharp collar around her white neck. “Things…have changed.”

“Like the fact that you are cooking the books to make your fucking shares worth more in the stock exchange?” he asked, stepping closer to him. “Is that what’s changed?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Our company is doing just fine, as it has always been.”

“Then what the fuck is this?” he yelled, throwing a handful of papers on the desk that he pulled out from his black backpack.

Some of them flew down, on the floor, right at their feet, stark white on the black wood.

“You’ve made them up.” Seulgi said, pushing one with her shoe.

“Are you fucking serious? I’ll make this whole thing public and you and your little slave will go down faster than you have ever thought, Seulgi! Is that what you want?!”

“And you…want to blackmail me, don’t you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who will believe you? Huh…? Who?”

“Don’t make me do it.”

“Or what? Are you that desperate to push that law into the Senate? I know what you’ve been hiding all along…do you really want Kyungsoo to find out about it too?” Seulgi said, standing up and walking towards the big chair behind the desk. “I don’t care that much, I do it too…but poor, little Kyungsoo…” she frowned, looking at him. “Do you really want him to find out from an anonymous sender? That you are only doing this for a sole, selfish reason?”

She opened a drawer, pressing some keys on the electronic screen attached to it, and pulled something out. “This?”

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Then make nothing public and I won’t either. It only takes me 5 seconds to send it to him. 5 and then…” she whispered, smiling.

She placed it back in the drawer and closed it with a low clink. “So…are we good now?”

“Fuck you!” Baekhyun said and left the office, feeling his lungs burn and the smell of dust caught into them.

 

PART 3

 

_38 days  and a half after the accident_

“Nice house.” Baekhyun said.

“You’ve helped us buy it, actually.” Seulgi said. “3 years ago…we were so desperate.” she laughed.

“Well, it seems like I had pretty good taste.”

“Of course. You and Chanyeol will get the ground floor bedrooms, to make everything easier.” Seulgi said.

“Is that the kitchen?” he pointed. “It’s huuuuge.”

Sehun laughed, fully opening the door. “We also have some android maids to cook and clean, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Only about my terrible memory, of course.” Baekhyun said, spinning the wheels until he stopped inside the kitchen. “Well, I guess I won’t reach the top drawer.” he laughed. “Not funny?”

Seulgi and Sehun then let out a quiet laugh as Chanyeol took hold of the handle of the wheelchair.

“I think you need to rest. Get comfortable with the new environment.” the woman said.

“Sure, like a frog in a lab, put in those glass containers with grass and everything. Maybe a little pond too.”

“Don’t think like that.” Seulgi said. “Rest. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

The room given to him was almost as big as the entire kitchen, and after a first inspection, it seemed like things had been moved around before his arrival. There was enough space between the bed and the closet for him to go through and, except for a desk in the back and a night stand, the space was empty; a grey carpet, and cream drapes at the big windows that showed a view of the lighted street and garden.

“Nicer than a hospital, huh?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol who closed the door.

“Did you live in a house like this…back then?”

“I don’t know. But I suppose I couldn’t afford it.”

“I like it.”

“You have your own too.” he smiled, turning around. “Your own room, I mean.”

“I can sleep on the floor. At night…they would shut our systems down. To save energy.” Chanyeol said.

“And if I don’t do that?”

“I’ll just need to charge somewhere.”

“So you don’t sleep?”

Chanyeol shook his head, remaining on his spot near the door.

“You want me to shut you down?”

He nodded and Baekhyun sighed.

“Can you help me shower?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Why is everything so big in this house?” Baekhyun asked as they entered the bathroom.

A room made out of white tiles and metal handles on each side, a chair inside the shower and even more handles that wend along the wall. “They got this fixed really well.” he laughed. “Like they knew.”

“Chanyeol…” he said while he was taking his clothes off. “This has been bugging my mind for a while now…”

“What?”

“Where did they find a hippocampus? It’s not like they just grown on the street and you collect them.”

“They didn’t tell me.” Chanyeol said. “And I don’t have access to the hospital’s database anymore.”

“Pity…I wish I could know. Probably, the person is long dead by now but…”

Chanyeol removed his socks and Baekhyun was sitting completely bare on the chair. He rubbed over one leg, going up and down and stopping right over the knee. “I wish they had done something about this too…”

“Another surgery?” Chanyeol asked.

“I’m too tired of hospitals. I don’t know how it was before, so I have nothing to compare this too. It’s fine.” he said.

Chanyeol pulled him up, carrying him like that into the shower cubicle where he let him sit down on the white chair.

“How much weight can you lift?”

“Around 300 kilograms with ease.”

“Oh…so it explains everything.” Baekhyun laughed. “Can you take showers?”

“I can get wet. My casing is waterproof.” Chanyeol said.

“But do you feel it? Warm on your skin, relaxing you? Just seeping right to the bone until you feel like melting into the water?”

“I’ve never taken a shower before.”

“Seriously?”

Chanyeol nodded. He took the sponge from the rack and poured something from a glass bottle on it.

“Come on, take your clothes off. They are nice…showers, I mean.” Baekhyun said.

“But…”

“I said it is okay. I think it’s only fair to see you naked too.” he laughed.

Chanyeol looked down and then unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down, on the floor. Then, it came the light blue shirt and boxer briefs, all forming a small pile at his feet. Baekhyun giggled a little, covering his mouth with a hand.

“Sorry…but I’ve always imagined that you wouldn’t have a…penis.”

“Oh…androids do have genitalia. It’s mostly for…some androids are used only for sexual services.” he said.

Baekhyun nodded. “Do they feel any pleasure?”

“We have some electric terminations that copy the ones in humans, but from what I’ve heard, the sensation is not very strong.”

“Well, they should invest more on that, shouldn’t they?”

“I think newer models feel better during…intercourse.”

“Come on.” Baekhyun said, turning on the faucet. “It’s warm.”

Chanyeol stepped inside and for the first time, Baekhyun wished that he could stand up to be at the same level as the other.

“How is it?” he asked.

“Warm.” Chanyeol smiled.

Baekhyun nodded. The water was trickling around them, falling on his shoulders and head, going down the bridge of his nose, to his lips.

“Can you help me stand?”

“Yes.”

Chanyeol grabbed him by the wrists and pulled him up with the same ease, as before. Baekhyun held the handle on his right, tightly, feeling his feet give up underneath his body weight.

“This is so weird.” he laughed.

Then, he wrapped both arms around Chanyeol’s neck as the other placed the hands on his middle, holding him up.

“I wonder how it would be to walk and stay like this on my own…” he whispered. “I feel so alone…”

“But I’m here…”

“I know…” he said, breathing out. “I know…”

 

Baekhyun woke up when the sun was beginning to rise from behind the curtains. Next to him, there was Chanyeol, and connected to the electrical outlet, a thin cable coming out from his lower back. He wasn’t breathing and when he touched his bare shoulder, it was cold, like the air in the room.

Last night, his skin had retained for a while the warmth from the water, feeling almost natural underneath his fingers. His hair was soft, smelling of lavender shampoo; falling over his forehead and cheeks.

“Hey…” Baekhyun whispered.

“My charging is complete.” Chanyeol said.

“Did you sleep?”

“I kept my eyes closed and searched through my database.”

“The entire night?”

Chanyeol nodded as he unplugged the wire that he then hid in his back, underneath the casing.  

“Do you…” but Baekhyun shook his head in laughter.

“What is wrong?”

“Nothing…it’s just, I have another stupid question.”

“You can ask me.”

“Do you get boners?”

“Boners? Do you mean erections?” Chanyeol asked.

“Mhm…”

“Oh…only if I touch it.”

“I see. So no unwanted surprise in your pants at the worst times. Well, I don’t really get boners either, but I haven’t tried either.”

“Do you want to try?” Chanyeol asked.

“With you?”

“Is that a problem? I know from my database that for thousand of years men had sexual relationships between each other, as well as women.”

Baekhyun laughed again, hiding his head in the pillow.

“You’re very direct.”

“Am I?” Chanyeol asked.

“Mhm…but I suppose I make it quite obvious too. From what I heard, I liked men, not women.”

“I read that the penis only needs enough friction for the blood to travel inside of it so that the erection would form, and then, after about 10 minutes, the orgasms comes too, the penis begins contracting, sending millions of signals through the limbic system and-“

“That…is very scientific.” Baekhyun laughed. 

“Oh…”

“It’s alright. Usually people go on a date or two before they do the dirty.”

“Do the dirty?”

“Have sex.”

“We could go on a date if you want before we…do the dirty.”

Baekhyun laughed again, intertwining their fingers. “Okay…so it’s a date, then.”

 

_1460 days before the accident_

“So…” Baekhyun whispered, mixing in his coffee the sugar he had just poured with the spoon.

“So…piano and violin huh?” Kyungsoo asked.

“This is my baby.”

Baekhyun stood up, leaving the coffee on the nightstand, and sat down in front of the piano. “Had it since I was 10. Still working like new.” he said.

“Sing something.” Kyungsoo said, placing his chin on his hands.

“Your wish is my command. Mozart. Or would you like something else? Are you more of a Bach kind of guy or maybe Debussy?”

“Mozart sounds good.”

“Or you just saying that because you don’t listen to classical music and you’d let me sing whatever just to get in my pants, huh?” Baekhyun said, turning his head to look at him.

“Definitely trying to get in your pants. And I definitely don’t know who Mozart is. Was he a farmer or what?”

“Definitely a farmer.” Baekhyun said, pressing a key.

He smiled, looking again at him, while he started playing the song.

“Symphony #40?”

“So you actually know this farmer.”

“Because I want to get inside your pants. No other reason.” Kyungsoo said, lying on the bed on his back, staring at the ceiling.

He closed his eyes, moving his head in the rhythm of the music.

“Do you like it?” Baekhyun asked.

“Mhm…”

“Really?”

Kyungsoo laughed, patting the bed. “Come here.”

“What?”

“Just…” he whispered as Baekhyun sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder. “You have stars on the ceiling.”

“I took them from my old room…they still glow in the dark.”

“I like Mozart and I like you.” Kyungsoo said, looking at him. “A lot.”

“Do you like Mozart better? I heard he had it big. Bigger than mine anyways. And he was more talented than me and-“

“Shut up.”

Kyungsoo kissed him and Baekhyun burst into a fistful of giggles.

 

_The day of the accident_

Baekhyun stepped on the motorcycle, stopping for a couple of breathes, as he looked around. The glass building was behind him, yellow in the fading light of the sun. In front of him there was the road, cars speeding on it, with buildings on each side; the fog was crawling on the ground, on its thin arms, scratching the asphalt with invisible nails. It reached his feet, it reached the building, seeped right in the marrow of the bones, damp and cold.

He put the helmet on and left, didn't look behind. The road was slippery but he went faster. All the cars were left behind him, as he was going further ahead, up the hill with no trees, with the street lights coming to life one by one.

He didn't stop at the red light, kept going forward, faster and faster, feeling his chest ache and throat contract on itself. His nails dug into his skin through the glove as he could see the photo held by Seulgi.

Two happy faces.

The motorcycle went even faster, so fast that it all turned into a blur, street lights, houses and cars, the fog meshing until it was all grey and yellow.

He stopped at a semaphore. Red. And then something hit him, pushed him off the vehicle, down on the road.

He couldn't see anything, he couldn't open his eyes, so he kept them close until the sounds mingled and his body started to pound, to trickle, to drip piece by piece until it all disappeared.

 

_40 days after the accident_

Baekhyun went into the kitchen. It was quiet even though the clock on the counter was ticking 7:35 AM.

A maid was already in there, ebony skin, glowing in the sun light, showing no trace of bumps, scratches or blemishes. Perfect and smooth, cold when fingers would run across it.

"Breakfast is ready." she smiled.

"Where is everybody?"

"They will come too."

Baekhyun stopped at the kitchen table, 3 plates sitting on it, all covered in small slices of bread and cheese, honey jars, croissants and milk coffees.

It smelled exactly like in a bakery, powdery and of vanilla and butter.

"I see you are an early riser." Seulgi said from the door frame.

Baekhyun shrugged, taking a bite from one of the croissants.

"I have some questions, now that I'm out of the hospital and I can get on with my life." he said, looking at both Seulgi and Sehun taking each a seat at the table.

"Ohh, easy. It's not even 8 and you’ve started the Inquisition." Sehun laughed.

Seulgi only smiled, grabbing a piece of bread with her red manicured fingers.

"Leave it for later. We have all the time in the world." Sehun continued.

"Have you tried the honey? It's to die for." the woman said.

"I'm sorry but it must be so very comfortable for both of you to know who I am and know who you are and remember everything since you were 5 year old. But I feel like a fucking newborn in here but in the body of an adult." Baekhyun said, clutching the table cloth with his fingers.

"Of course, it's only normal to want to know." Seulgi said.

She put the piece of bread down, on the plate, and intertwined her fingers underneath her sharp chin. "What would you like to know?"

"What was my job?"

"University professor. Music composition, but anything music related after all." she said.

Sehun was still eating, throwing the woman a glance from time to time.

"So I can play an instrument."

"More than one, but the piano was your main one." Seulgi smiled.

She took another bite of the bread and honey, chewing slowly.

"So I was single."

"Yes, you were. You didn't believe in relationships."

"My house, apartment, whatever. What happened to it?"

"We had to sell it. You were...decisions had to be made." Seulgi said.

Sehun looked again at her and then at Baekhyun, smiling widely.

"But, we kept the piano and violin."

"Oh...and my parents."

"Both dead in a car accident 10 years ago."

"Pictures...do you have pictures with me and them and...the people that I knew?"

"A couple. You liked to collect Polaroids." Seulgi said. "Seriously, try the honey. It's divine." she laughed.

"Can Jongdae come over sometimes? Ask him more about my childhood. Maybe he has some pictures too of me in baby clothes, puking on someone." Baekhyun laughed. "The honey is really good." he said after a while.

"I told you. We buy it from the android farms in the west side." Sehun said. "Cheap too."

"Android farms?"

"Now a lot of the work is done by androids. Or at least what doesn't need much intelligence. Physical work." Sehun said.

Baekhyun heard footsteps on the floor and when he looked behind, he saw Chanyeol stopped in the doorframe.

"Come here." Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol walked towards him, looking down and placed both hands on his wheelchair. “He is smart enough.”

“Not to sound harsh, but androids are inferior to humans from every single aspect. Their intelligence is simply a database that gets updated from a center. Androids can’t build it on their own. Plus, no feelings, emotions, pain, anything. An android cannot understand us.” Seulgi said, looking at Chanyeol. “I assure you my words do not affect him or her.”

“Well, have you asked them?”

“Chanyeol.” the woman said. “Are you angry or sad right now?”

“I can’t feel anger or sadness.”

“See? For him it’s indifferent. A database programmed to give answers and understand requests from others.”

“Could we change the topic? I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.” Baekhyun said.

“I hope you didn’t get mad at what I said.” Seulgi said. “It wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s fine.” Baekhyun said and left the kitchen after a while, followed by Chanyeol. “Let’s go outside.” he said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I can’t stay one more moment in this house. It’s so big yet so crammed. Please.”

“Alright. I’ll ask for a car or a vehicle to-“

“I don’t want a car. I just want to be outside. It doesn’t have to be long.” Baekhyun said.

“Okay. Humans like to go to coffee shops in situations like this and one of them pays for the other too.” Chanyeol said, pushing his chair towards the door.

“Are you talking about the date?”

“Maybe…”

“But we don’t have money.” Baekhyun burst into laughter, stopping in front of the entrance door. “I’ll go ask Seulgi for some.” he said and turned around, going back into the kitchen. “I need money.”

“Alright.” Seulgi said, looking at him. “How much?”

“How much do 2 coffees cost?”

“Here. 200 e-coins. Should be enough for both of you.” the woman said, as she walked towards the counter and took two blue bills from a cookie jar.

“Do I have money of my own?”

“You were not the…bank account type. I’m sorry.” the woman said.

“But,” Sehun smiled, “soon enough you could take back your job at the university. If you still want to, of course.”

“My old phone?”

“Smashed in the accident.” Sehun said.

Baekhyun sighed, gripping the edges of the chair. “I want to call Jongdae to meet him. I actually want to buy a phone too.”

“We’ll buy one for you, don’t worry. And we can call Jongdae so that you could meet him at the café.” Seulgi said. “What do you say about Olivo? It’s close to home.”

“Alright…”

 

The coffee shop was empty when they arrived.

“It’s nice.” Baekhyun said, looking around. “Let’s sit there.” he pointed to the back of the place, at a table with only two chairs.

“Soo…I think blue suits you.” he said after they ordered from the small screen in the middle of the table, placing his chin on the back of his hands.

“Does it?” Chanyeol asked, touching the fabric with the tip of his fingers.

“Mhm…exactly like your blue eyes. They are pretty.”

Chanyeol smiled, not looking at Baekhyun, but at his hands on his lap. “Nobody told me that my eyes are pretty.”

“Well, then I’m telling you.” he said, smiling. “They have those little icy sparks in them. It-it makes them look like the sky with the stars on it.”

“I…I think your lips are pretty too. They are a very nice shade of pink, especially when you smile.”

“Thanks…” Baekhyun said.

“Hello!”

They both looked up, at the man stopped in front of their table. “Do you mind if I join?”

“No.”

Jongdae took a chair from another table right when a woman with lilac eyes placed two mugs with the tops covered in marshmallows and powdered sugar on the table. “Enjoy.”

“I would like one of those too.” Jongdae said.

“Yes, sir.” she said and left.

“Seulgi gave me a call saying you want to talk to me. Isn’t he the android from the hospital?” he asked, pointing towards Chanyeol.

“Yes, he’s now my helper.” Baekhyun said. “Mhm…this tastes really nice. Oh, I forgot.” he whispered, glancing at Chanyeol. “You can’t eat, can you?”

“No. It would fry my circuits.”

“It’s okay.” Jongdae laughed. “Happens to everybody. Especially with too much booze.”

“I like the smell.” Chanyeol said, bringing the mug right under his nose.

“How’s life?”

“Good.” Baekhyun said. “I’d like to know a little about myself…before the accident. I have an impression Seulgi and Sehun don’t tell me everything.”

Jongdae remained quiet for a moment, looking down, at the table, as he kept following a ridge with the tip of his finger.

“It’s complicated and I don’t know the whole story because at the time we were no longer very close.” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s all in the past, after all.” Jongdae said, quicker. “I’m not sure if there’s any point in burdening yourself with something that you have no memory of.”

“I want to know.” Baekhyun said, gripping the mug tighter.

It burned his hand, so he let go of it. “I feel like a puzzle, Jongdae, and with every new piece of information I feel like it’s not just scattered pieces all around on the ground. Please…I need to know what happened. I have these dreams…” he said, lower, taking another sip.

He licked his lips, moving the mug across the table, rotating it with one finger.

“What dreams?”

“They feel so real. It’s me in them…but it feels like I’m someone else. Looking at myself from a different body. That me…he smiles and laughs and…this will sound so strange and wrong, I kiss that duplicate of me and there’s times when he simply plays the piano, some songs that I think I know by heart. Maybe if I had my old piano…And I’m on the bed, watching all of that. But then we fight, or at least he gets mad at me and…it’s so blurry, but they feel so real, like I’ve lived them.”

“They are just dreams, Baekhyun.” Jongdae said. “It’s true you used to play the piano, quite a lot. I’m not sure what you want to know about your past.”

The same android woman came holding another white mug, putting it on the table, in front of Jongdae. “Thank you.”

“From whom did I receive the hippocampus? Is that person dead?”

“It’s a secret file...”

“But I need to know. It haunts me. The dreams…I have a part of that person in my brain!” he shouted, hitting the table. “You all act like I’m stupid. Like I can’t understand anything so you all baby me, keep me in a fucking house, making sure I don’t know anything about my fucking past!!”

“It’s for your own good.” Jongdae said.

“If you really are my friend, you’d tell me the truth. Who am I?”

“Baekhyun…”

“Who am I?!”

“Okay…okay…” the other whispered, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll tell you what I know.”

“I listen.”

“You were a music teacher at the university in this town. At some point you became extremely obsessed with the idea of giving rights to all androids. Salaries, holidays, marriages. Anything you can think of that we have and they don’t. You even gave some interviews saying that androids have a soul, a conscience, even feelings. There was a whole debate because of your statements. You even had quite a few supporters. Right before you had the accident, you wanted to propose the law into the Senate. But…”

“I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t.” Jongdae sighed. “You must understand that at that time, you had alienated most of the people that cared about you. That Baekhyun was not the one we all have known.”

“That’s why…we weren’t in touch?”

“Exactly.” Jongdae said.

“My apartment. What happened to it?”

“Seulgi sold it when it seemed like you couldn’t be fixed. Then the transplant came. I have a box with some of your old stuff if you want to check it out. Some pictures too.”

“Yes.” Baekhyun nodded. “What was my relationship with Seulgi? Sehun?”

“Good. They were trying to help you pass the law. Sehun was taking part in the elections, he even won them. He is vice senator now.”

“Oh…”

“I’m sorry about what happened but…it’s difficult just telling you all of this when you are still in such a state. That ‘you’ is just a stranger.” Jongdae said, taking a sip from the hot chocolate. “This is really good.”

“Was I that terrible?” Baekhyun asked.

“You were…changed. Not the boy I grew up with.”

“And now…how am I?”

“Closer to who I used to know.” Jongdae smiled.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said. “I…forgot about you.”

“It’s alright.” he smiled.

“We are on a date.” Baekhyun grinned.

“What?”

“Chanyeol and I are on a date. I mean…we were, before you came.”

“Oh…I understand.”

“Baekhyun told me that before people do the dirty they go on date. It’s a social custom for them to feel more comfortable and less ashamed with what they do. It gives them a sense of security.” Chanyeol said, looking at the other.

“That’s true. I haven’t been on a date in a long time so I won’t ruin yours then. You can come by my place anytime to see the stuff in the boxes.”

“Alright. Thank you.” Baekhyun said.

“Here. For my drink.” Jongdae said, leaving a couple of bills on the table.

Baekhyun watched him go away, walking out, through the open door.

“Chanyeol…if I ask you to break into the hospital’s system to find out who donated me the hippocampus, would you do it?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

“Good.” he said “Would they find out that you did it?”

“Not if I do it right.” Chanyeol grinned. “Before I was bought by the hospital, I was owned by an IT guy that used to hack just for the fun of it. He taught me some things, but when he got caught, they sold me to the hospital in an auction.”

“Oh…and don’t you miss your former owner?”

“No. Why would I?” Chanyeol asked. “I know that humans miss their loved ones. They feel sadness and grief sometimes, especially after deaths.”

“And you don’t?”

“I don’t know.”

Baekhyun smiled, taking another sip from his drink; it was almost cold.

“We should leave…maybe go for a stroll.” he said after a while.

“Is that still a date?”

“Do you want it to?”

Chanyeol nodded.

“Okay.”

He pressed a button on the tablet and the same android woman came. Baekhyun paid her and then Chanyeol pushed his chair towards the exit.

“Do people hold hands during dates?”

“I guess. Sometimes. But we can’t really do that since…” Baekhyun whispered.

“It’s okay. I like it this way too.”

The street was a little more crowded, androids and humans, almost indistinguishable from one another. Some were giving him longer glares, but Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention to them.

A woman passed by, looking at him for much longer than the rest. She faltered and finally, walked towards him, visibly chewing on her bottom lip.

“Baekhyun.” she whispered.

“Who are you?”

“Oh…of course you don’t remember me.” she tried to smile. “I’m…I’m a friend. Of course you don’t remember anything.” the woman repeated.

“But…what’s your name?”

“Hani. My name is Hani. I should go.” she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Don’t!” he shouted. “Please, don’t. I remember your voice. Your voice…I heard it before.”

She turned around on her heels, and smiled again.

“You do?”

Baekhyun nodded.

“That’s alright too.” she said and glanced behind him. “I need to go.” Hani said.

“No, don’t! Don’t leave!”

But she was already gone behind a building, mingling among the mass of people.

“Baekhyun. We bought you a new phone.” a voice said. “Were you talking to somebody?”

“No…I wasn’t.”

Seulgi was standing in front of him, alone. “Aren’t you tired already? Jongdae told me that you’ve met.”

“We did. Maybe I should go home after all.”

“Yes, of course. And try your new phone too.” she said.

 

_770 days before the accident_

“What is this?” Baekhyun asked, clutching the other’s arm.

“A jazz café. You can dance here.” Kyungsoo said, opening the door for him.

The place was almost plunged into darkness, except for some orange lights in the corners, round tables across the walls, while the center was kept empty. A couple of pairs were dancing, close to each other, holding hands; it smelled like coffee and vanilla; the air was warm, the voices whispered.

“Do you come here often?”

“Thought I should bring you too.” he smiled, kissing his cheek. “They sometimes have bands to sing live.”

“Seems like not tonight.” Baekhyun whispered in his ear.

They sat at one of those round tables, the one closest to the door, Baekhyun looking around and then at Kyungsoo who was lightly smiling.

“Isn’t this your favorite song?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Then sway with me…” Baekhyun smiled, taking his hand. “Come on.”

They sat up and Baekhyun wrapped both arms around his neck while Kyungsoo held him by the middle, slowly moving from side to another; he closed his eyes, only listening to the music and their combined breathes.

“I love you.” Kyungsoo whispered.

“I know…”

“Do you love me too?” Kyungsoo asked, still only a whisper, barely audible over the music.

“Maybe…maybe not.”

“Don’t play with me right now…just say that you do.”

“What?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him.

His face was covered by the shadows, soft ones, falling over is cheekbones. Kyungsoo tilted his head to the side, breathing out.

“Nothing…”

He stepped away, letting go of him.

“Don’t be like this.” Baekhyun laughed, trying to hold his hand.

He shook his head, standing back at the table. The song had ended, followed by another one that he didn’t know.

“Can I serve you with anything?” a woman asked him.

“What? Oh…some wine please.” he said, glancing at her.

She had glimmering golden eyes, a pale face with sharp features. Only her lips were softly curved, plump and pink.

“Have I seen you somewhere?” he asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“What’s your name?”

“Hani.” she said, smiling, her golden eyes turning green.

“Hani…”

 

_52 days after the accident_

Baekhyun stopped in front of the bed.

“Can you do it?”

“Yes. I just need some time.” Chanyeol said.

“Okay…”

Baekhyun closed his eyes, counting the seconds in his head. The image of that woman appeared in his mind. Then, her form shifted to a dark place, many round tables and people dancing. He was there, again, held in the arms by someone else, with his back towards him. That Baekhyun put his head on the stranger’s shoulder, closing his eyes.

It ended when Chanyeol touched his arm.

“It’s done.” he said.

“Really?”

He nodded. “Do Kyungsoo. He’s in the psychiatric ward of the hospital.”

“In the hospital?! But he-he was supposed to be dead.” he whispered. “Then we could go and see him.”

“Yes.” Chanyeol said.

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol looked down and smiled, remaining silent.

“Can you help me sit on the bed?”

“Yes.”

He took him in his arms, as easily as before and placed him so that he was leaning on the pillows.

“I…I read more about sex. You know, my former owner used to have sex quite a lot, so I would hear the noises. But he was having it with women. Uhm…he once told me that he could bring one for me too but then the police came and…”

“So you never had sex…” Baekhyun said.

“Well…in the hospital we were crammed in a room but we were all shut down so…we couldn’t really do anything.”

“Oh…but that would have been an orgy.” Baekhyun laughed.

“I think I read something about that too.”

“Stop it. Now…would you like to kiss me?” he asked.

“I know the basic technique.”

“Chanyeol.”

“What? Did I do anything wrong?”

“No…I just…your technique doesn’t matter…just kiss me?” he asked.

“Uhm…should I…some like to have their faces’ cupped and other to-“

“My neck…I think I like it on the neck…” Baekhyun whispered.

“Oh…like hold it and…”

“Are you scared?” he asked, taking his hand into his.

“I’m not sure. I just don’t like to make mistakes.” Chanyeol said. “Is that called being scared?”

“It could be. But mistakes are okay. I’m not even sure if I know how to kiss either. I might be terrible.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol nodded and splayed his fingers over his neck, pulling his face closer to his.

He didn’t kiss him immediately; came closer and closer until their noses were almost bumping into each other but not quite. Baekhyun smiled and that’s when Chanyeol kissed him, shortly, on the lips, and then pulled back.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, it’s just…it’s weird.” Chanyeol said.

“Weird good or weird bad?”

“I don’t know.”

“We don’t have to kiss more.”

“But then…you wanted us to do the dirty.”

“It’s not necessary. If you are not comfortable, then we won’t do anything else.”

Chanyeol kissed the tip of his nose instead.

“Do you like that?”

“Mhm…here.” he said and kissed him too.

“It’s warm. Baekhyun…?”

“Yeah?”

“But humans do have sex when they date, don’t they?”

“I suppose, most of them.”

“But we won’t.”

“If you don’t want to, we won’t.” he said, brushing his fingers through his hair. “Do you like that?”

“Yes. I read about asexuality. Maybe…”

“Shh…just close your eyes and let me take care of you, okay?” Baekhyun said and Chanyeol shifted closer until his head was right underneath his chin.

His fingers were slowly combing through his hair, stopping at certain times to scratch the scalp and for some reason, the action seemed extremely familiar to him, as if he had done that so many times in the past. He looked at his face, his calm features highlighted by the afternoon sun in a golden glow, his eyelashes almost touching his pale cheeks.

But he was cold in his arms, unmoving, not even his chest. There was no breathe, no warmth over his skin. Baekhyun kissed the tip of his nose again, lingering for a while, before he moved to his cheek.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

Chanyeol nodded. He opened his eyes, blue with gold sparkling through them from the light, watching him chew on his bottom lip.

“Nobody did this to me…” he said.

“Do you like it?”

“I…I think so. Do you want me to do it for you too?”

“Mhm…”

Chanyeol helped him shift on the bed, until his back was pressed against his chest. His hand hovered over his head until his fingertips touched the ends of the hair strands. At first, he moved slowly, barely brushing through it, but as Baekhyun’s breathing was getting softer and softer, he moved closer to the scalp.

“I wonder…was I a good person?” Baekhyun whispered. “I still see that girl…Hani, on the street and wonder: why did she look so scared? Scared of me…scared of Seulgi?”

“I could find her for you…” Chanyeol whispered too.

“Would you?”

“Isn’t that what boyfriends do? Help each other…?”

“I think so…” Baekhyun yawned. “…can you help me sit on my back…?”

“Yes.” Chanyeol said, maneuvering his body on the bed until he could look at the ceiling.

“I think I could fall asleep…”

 

The day had nothing special in it, except maybe for the clouds shaped in the form of rubber ducks on the grey sky. But Baekhyun felt his fingers tremble whenever he would lift them up, waiting for the car to finally stop and see the bright lettering of the hospital right above the entrance door.

The window had fogged up, from his breathe, and the clouds had disappeared.

"We're there." the man at the wheel said.

"Thank you." Baekhyun whispered, his voice thinner than he had anticipated.

Chanyeol pulled his chair out, pushing him while Baekhyun kept breathing in and out.

"Do you think they'll let us see him?"

"In my system it says that humans lie." Chanyeol said.

"That's true." Baekhyun sighed.

It appeared they didn't really need to lie; he only said that he was a friend of Do Kyungsoo and the android behind the big, white desk just nodded and asked him to write his name and place his fingerprint on the screen.

"Floor 5, room 531." she smiled at him.

They entered one of the four elevators, his chair pointing towards the mirror behind. There were no other people inside, just the two of them. A song was coming from the speakers, something reminding him of his first days in the hospital. The elevator stopped with a clink as the doors opened.

"531." he whispered.

It was a big, square room with circular tables around the walls, a grey carpet on the floor and pictures hanging from twines. There were a couple of android nurses, all standing around men and women dressed in the same white with blue dotted robes.

"Excuse me." he said to one of the nurses.

"Yes? How can I help you?"

"I am looking for Do Kyungsoo…"

"He is right there." she said, pointing to the furthest corner, at a man sitting down at the round table, writing something on a piece of paper.

"You shouldn't ask him too many questions. He is easily irritable." the woman said.

Baekhyun nodded and Chanyeol pushed the chair towards that place. For some reason, he felt like puking; a sharp ache was rummaging through his stomach, lessening in intensity after long intervals.

Do Kyungsoo looked up at him from his paper scattered with different wiggly shapes and things that almost resembled letters.

"Hello. I'm Baekhyun..."

"I don't know you." Kyungsoo said, going back to his drawing.

"I...They told me you have made a donation for me." he said and the man stopped again, the tip of the red pencil digging harder and harder into the piece of paper.

"I don't remember that either. I need to draw this. I need to finish drawing this." he whispered, putting the pencil down and taking a blue one.

There was a small hole in the paper, above which he was still coloring.

"What are you trying to draw?" Baekhyun asked.

"I don't know. But I need to draw this. I really need to draw this." he said.

The pencil was gliding on the paper in spirals, until he formed a circle.

"Why would he donate part of his brain to me...? Knowing that he'll end up like this?" Baekhyun asked, looking back at Chanyeol. "Nobody even mentioned his name."

"Maybe he was already sick." the other said.

"Kyungsoo?"

But the man didn't look at him. He changed the pencil again, with a yellow one.

"This is pointless." Baekhyun sighed.

"Let's ask that nurse. I know her." Chanyeol said, pointing to one sitting down at a table, next to another woman.

"Okay..."

He looked one more time at Kyungsoo, who didn't even seem aware that they were leaving. The nurse smiled at them; she stood up and came towards them.

"You didn't even say good-bye." she said.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright." she laughed. "What brings you here?"

"This is Joy." Chanyeol said to Baekhyun. "And this is Baekhyun. We want to know more about Do Kyungsoo."

"Well...it is confidential but since we were friends..." she said, glancing around. "I was his nurse, actually. He chose to do the donation but he was completely healthy. Nobody understood his decision and he didn't say much about it. But I know before the surgery...I caught him crying in his room. I mean...who wouldn't?" Joy continued, in a whisper. "But why are you so interested in him?"

"I'm the recipient." Baekhyun said.

"Oh. Well...his first month was terrible. It was very hard to calm him down. Injection after injection until finally his memory spans were longer. But he's...he just does things over and over again and he's obsessed with drawing the same imagine."

"I understand."

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what else to say."

"I...that's good enough. I just don't understand why he did that for me."

"Some people do things out of guilt. Maybe he felt guilty." Joy shrugged.

"Maybe...but for what?" Baekhyun asked, looking at Kyungsoo.

"Well...if you knew him before, then there must other people who knew him. It's worth a shot." Joy said. "And you." she pointed towards Chanyeol. "Come visit from time to time."

"I will." Chanyeol laughed.

 

 

_180 days before the accident_

 

 

Baekhyun puffed out from his cigarette, his back leaning on the brick building. The lamps were barely illuminating the street in their orange, flickering light.

"I feel so...empty?" he said, staring at the cloud of smoke that was slowly dissipating in the air.

She came closer to him, leaning on his shoulder with her head.

"You have me..."

"Hani..." he whispered.

Her dusty brown hair was flowing over his chest, smelling of roses and something else, specific to her. It was tickling his face, soft, exactly like her breasts, pressing into his arm.

"I understand. You know that...I really do."

"But..."

"Shh..." she whispered, placing a finger over his lips. "If I could...I would smoke too."

Baekhyun laughed. "Why?"

"I don't know. I feel like I would have done it if..."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? I'm an android." Hani said, straightening up. "A fraud. Pretending to be human. If they found out..." she huffed, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"That's why I'm working on that law."

"I've never asked you to. It's dangerous and you know it." she said.

Baekhyun threw the cigarette butt on the ground, staring at its small flame that was dying out.

"Not more dangerous than someone finding out about you."

"I can manage." she said. "I have an idea. Let's go watch a movie."

Hani grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him up. "Don't think about sad things when you are with me, okay? I'm fine and I can take care of myself."

“I know…” Baekhyun sighed. “It’s just…”

“I know. But…”

“No buts.” Hani smiled. “I can take care of myself.”

 

_58 days after the accident_

In the living room there was a piano. Baekhyun went to it and touched its keys with the tips of his fingers, feeling their coldness on the skin.

“Was this mine?”

“It is yours.” Seulgi said, leaning on it. “Do you like it?” she asked.

“I don’t think I can play anymore…”

“Well…you have some old music sheets in some boxes, if you want to check them out. Maybe you haven’t forgotten.”

“Can you bring them?” he asked, placing his chair in front of the piano.

“Sure.” Seulgi smiled and stood up, walking out of the room; soft steps on the dark green carpet as the burgundy robe was flowing behind her, with the movement of her sharp hips, poking through the thin material.

She came back minutes later, holding a brown box in her arms.

“Here…there are some pictures too, if you want to see.”

“Can we start with those?” Baekhyun asked.

“Sure. Polaroids. You liked them very much.”

Seulgi placed a photo on the piano keys. “That’s you and Jongdae after you got your job as a university teacher. You got really drunk that day.”

Baekhyun picked the photo and looked at it closer. “I was so young.” he laughed.

“Right after your PhD. You kissed Jongdae that day and then Sehun. All on the lips.” Seulgi laughed. “I…was extremely jealous.”

She took a chair and sat down, next to him, touching his shoulder with her own warm and soft one. “That’s…from my wedding with Sehun.” Seulgi smiled. “And this…these are your parents. It’s a very old one.”

“These were…my parents?” he asked, taking the picture from her.

She nodded.

“From the year you were born, I think.”

Her fingers hovered over another photo, but then, she put aside it and grabbed the one underneath it.

“This-“

“What was the one on top?” Baekhyun asked.

“Nothing. Just a corrupted polaroid.” she said, placing the other picture on the keys.

“Can I see it?”

“Baekhyun…”

“Show it to me!!” he said, looking straight at her. “Show the fucking photo to me.”

“Alright.” she sighed. “Here.”

In the Polaroid there was him, in front of a lighted building, with a man that was kissing him on the cheek. He looked closer at it, especially at the man’s face, mostly covered in shadows.

“Is he…is he Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asked after a while.

Seulgi laughed, taking the photo from him and placing it in the box, on top of the others.

“What are you talking about? Who’s Kyungsoo?” she asked.

“Then who is the man and why does he kiss me on the cheek? You said I was in no relationship but this doesn’t seem like nothing to me.” he said, pushing his chair aside, further away from the piano.

“Baekhyun…it’s more complicated than you think.”

She placed the box down, on the floor and stood up, pacing around the room with her hands on her hips.

“We are only trying to protect you…”

“From what? Because to me it only seems like hiding the truth, locking me in your fucking house while…I saw him, at the hospital. He’s my…my donor.” he whispered. “What’s your explanation for that?”

“Baekhyun…” she said, stopping in the middle of the room, crossing her arms over the chest.

“Tell me!!” he shouted, clutching the wheels of the chairs with his fingers until his knuckles turned white.

“He…he was your boyfriend.” Seulgi said, breathing out. “He was your boyfriend.”

Baekhyun simply stared at her without saying another word, seeing again the thin, man drawing over and over again with those colored pencil on the ripped paper.

“He…Sehun and I tried to help you push the android rights law into the Senate, but the day before the Big Council, after you left from our company you…you were hit by a car while you were waiting at a semaphore. The person was caught and sentenced but…”

“That’s not it, isn’t it?” Baekhyun asked.

Seulgi shook her head, stepping towards him, slowly, until she was behind his chair.

“The accident was…a sham. Kyungsoo was working with the ones who didn’t want to law to be voted in the Senate. Because then all their power would crumble. So…so Kyungsoo was giving them information about your plans and that day…they tried to kill you.” she said, placing both hands on his shoulders.

“But I survived…”

“Yes…and Kyungsoo did the transplant because he…they didn’t tell him everything. He didn’t know they’ll try to kill you, Baekhyun. You must understand, he wasn’t a bad person. He loved you in his own way.”

“And still…” he whispered.

“He did what he thought was right.” Seulgi said, squeezing his shoulders.

“How do you know…all of this?”

“We did a little investigation after your accident but when Kyungsoo did the transplant for you…there was no point to…he’s…”

“I’ve seen him.” Baekhyun said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I should feel sad, shouldn’t I?”

“Baekhyun…”

“For how long have we…been together?” he asked.

“4 years.”

“I should feel sadness for him. He’s…he has to live for the rest of his life like that. Because his…”

“Don’t think about it. That was his choice.” Seulgi said, walking in front of him.s

She crouched down, taking his hands into hers. “That’s why we didn’t want to tell you…because it’s too much to digest all of the sudden. He’s no more than a stranger to you, like we all are. But if you trust me…everything can get better. You can have a surgery to fix your legs and walk again. Go back to normal.”

“I should hate him too…shouldn’t I? But I feel nothing. Nothing.” he whispered, pulling his hands away from the woman’s.

“It’s alright. Just alright. I’m here for you.” she said.

 

_1100 days before the accident_

“Don’t move!” Kyungsoo laughed.

“But my foot is asleep.” Baekhyun said, shifting again on the chair. “Is this good enough, your Grace?”

“Stop with that.”

Kyungsoo stuck his tongue out and grabbed a red pencil from the table in front of him. Baekhyun’s lips formed a tight line but he didn’t say anything as the other drew a long, curved line on the canvas standing on the wooden easel. It smelled like oil paints in the room, even though all the windows were open.

“Will I have square eyes? Or maybe triangles?” he asked.

“Don’t talk.” Kyungsoo said.

He placed the red pencil in his mouth and took the blue one with which he drew something similar to a mouth in the middle of the first shape.

“Picasso will be jealous of you.” Baekhyun said. “With such a model…”

Kyungsoo threw the blue pencil at him, hitting him right in the tip of his nose.

“So not Picasso. I know. Michelangelo then?”

“Shut up.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“Claude Monet. No. I knowknowknow. Evdard Munch.” he said, grinning.

“Why Evard Munch out of all of them?” Kyungsoo asked as he drew a big, yellow eye right above the lips.

“Because you also like creepy stuff and I can see you standing on a bridge, watching the sunset, everything quiet around you, some birds flying above your head, when you have the impression that the nature is screaming at you. Seems like something you’d feel.” Baekhyun said. “And I know the song perfect for that!”

He jumped from the chair and ran towards the piano behind Kyungsoo.

“By the way, my room stinks.”

“I opened the window.” Kyungsoo said, sitting behind him.

“So…listen here.”

His fingers were moving slowly at first, only one hand touching the keys at irregular intervals, before it all turned faster and faster, with times at which his fingers seemed like they didn’t even touch the claps.

“My bad.” he said after a while. “Wrong note.” Baekhyun laughed. “What do you think?”

“What song?”

“I can’t believe you!” he said, punching him in the ribs. “Dance macabre. It works, doesn’t it? With the whole scream of the nature and all that.”

“Maybe, but what I’m trying to do is paint you.”

Kyungsoo kissed his cheek, ruffling his hair in between kisses that were placed all over his face.

“For your exhibition?”

“Stop mentioning it. You’ll jinx it.” Kyungsoo laughed, turning to face the easel. “Maybe…”

“You’ll do great.” he said, wrapping both arms around his chest as his head was leaning on his shoulder blade. “People will love your art. It’s…”

“You want to say it’s so shitty that they’ll think it is some cubist crap and they’ll buy it just because it reminds them of Picasso?”

“I could play the piano for them.”

“Would you?”

Baekhyun kissed the back of his neck. “Of course. A bit of publicity for me won’t be that bad.”

“Jerk.”

“I prefer…shady bitch. Sounds…fancier.”

 

_59 days after the accident_

Baekhyun hid his head underneath the pillow and blanket.

“Am I a horrible person?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“No matter how terrible what Kyungsoo did was…he did sacrifice his life for my own.” Baekhyun said, throwing the blanket aside on the bed. “What do you think?”

“That…” Chanyeol whispered, sitting next to him. “Do you…remember him?”

“Of course not. Why?”

“Because…if he was your boyfriend…then…”

“Are you worried about that?” Baekhyun asked.

Chanyeol nodded.

“I…he’s a stranger to me, one that is incapable of turning back to normal. I can’t possibly fall in love with him not even if…I like you, a lot.” Baekhyun said.

“But we didn’t have things in common…he, I searched through my system, he was a painter and he had exhibitions and you played at his first one. I’m just an android.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, what you are. And he is not part of my life anymore, no matter how much he was in the past.” Baekhyun said, touching his cheek. “Now you are.”

_150 days after the accident_

Baekhyun walked inside the rectangular room and stopped for a couple of seconds, looking around, before he saw him, at the same table as before. There were fewer people than the last time, faces he had come to know even though he couldn’t attach a name to them.

He sat on the chair that seemed more fitted for a child while Kyungsoo kept drawing with his colored pencils.

“Hey…it’s me.”

“I don’t know who you are.” he said in a monotone voice, changing a blue pencil for a red one.

“It doesn’t matter. Do you want to draw me?”

“I have to finish drawing this.” Kyungsoo said, creating a small tear into the paper.

“You can finish it afterwards.”

“No.” He looked up at him and pursed his lips. “I need to finish this right now because they are waiting for me at the exhibition.”

“Exactly. And the people from the exhibition told me that the new painting must be about me.” Baekhyun said with a smile.

Kyungsoo looked once again at him and sighed, putting the pencil down.

“Why? I don’t even know you.”

“That’s the whole premise.”

“No…I need to finish my drawing.” he said, beginning to draw the same shapes all over again.

Baekhyun sighed, looking around the room. Kyungsoo in front of him held almost no resemblance to the one from the pictures Seulgi had showed him; he was thin, the bones poking from his face, his hair much shorter than before.

After all, he couldn’t imagine falling in love with someone like him. He could only pity him, seeing how pointless his life was unfolding each day; repeated until it would all cease but he wouldn’t be able to remember any of it.

Kyungsoo looked at him again.

“Maybe I saw you before.” he said.

Baekhyun smiled, standing up. “I’ll come see you next week, alright?” he asked.

“Alright.” Kyungsoo said. “You know…” he said, looking at him again with his big eyes that looked so black even though the room was well lighted, “I think I’ve smelled that perfume before. It reminds me of someone.” he continued and returned to his drawing as if he hadn’t said anything at all.

Baekhyun smiled, walking away.

Chanyeol was waiting outside, in the bright sun, shielding his eyes with one hand.

“How did it go?”

“Like always.” he said, holding his hand. “You couldn’t find that Hani girl, could you?”

“Sorry…it’s like she doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe she doesn’t…” Baekhyun sighed.

“Is it okay for you to walk this much?” Chanyeol asked.

“I sat down a little…they did a good job, with everything.”

“Indeed. Even the recovery was quick.”

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, stopping him in the middle of the sidewalk made out of cobblestones. On their right there was the front of a café, with red drapes tied on the sides and candles burning on the wooden tables.

He looked through the window at the empty place left in the middle. In the back, there was stage with some musical instruments left leaning in a corner, next to an acoustic piano.

“Let’s go inside.” he said, pulling Chanyeol through the opened door.

It smelled like lavender and cinnamon, chocolate and burnt fire wood. He remained standing in one place, glancing around.

“I…I think I’ve been here before.” he whispered, letting go of his hand.

“You remember it?” Chanyeol asked.

“I…I have this feeling. And a song…there’s a song, but I don’t know which…”

“Can I help you with…” the words became only a whisper as the woman stopped in front of them, covering her mouth with one hand.

“Hani?”

“I’m sorry. You got the wrong person.” she said, turning around.

“Hani!!”

But she had already disappeared in the back of the café without another word. Suddenly, a song started playing from the speakers.

“That…that’s it!” Baekhyun said. “That’s the song. The song that…” he whispered, his eyes stopping from a table closest to the door.

Baekhyun walked closer to it, touching the wood with the tips of his fingers, the letters, all white and dusty, scratched into it. _Sway me away from here…_

His chest shuddered, once and his hand fell next to his body.

“Sway me…” he whispered.

 

_250 days before the accident_

“Everybody does this.” he laughed.

“It’s private property.” Kyungsoo whispered, looking around.

“It’s only a scratch…plus, this is our table. It has become ours, admit it.”

“Still…” Kyungsoo sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair as Baekhyun blew some air over the scratches he had made.

“Read it.”

“Sway me away from here…” Kyungsoo smiled, touching it with the tips of his fingers. “It’s crooked, right there.”

“Shut up.”

“Will you do that, if things get shitty enough?” he asked, glancing at him. “If things go really shitty, would you do that for me?”

“Baek…” Kyungsoo whispered.

“Come on. It’s our song.”

He grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the empty center of the room.

“You smell good.” Kyungsoo whispered, placing one hand on his middle, Baekhyun’s head rested over his chest as they were still holding hands. “Roses…”

“I love you…”

“I know…”

“Kyungsoo…” he whispered, kissing his neck. “I’d still only love you if I were to be born again and not remember you…”

“Don’t talk like this…”

“Why…? Does it embarrass you? I’m too sentimental?”

“No…you just talk like you are about to die…”

“Die from your love?” Baekhyun asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at him. “That’s what you meant?”

“I was serious.”

“What?! Don’t you think people can die from too much love?”

Kyungsoo sighed, caressing his hand with his thumb. “Do you? Is my love that terrible?”

Baekhyun shook his head and said: “I think mine is not enough for you sometimes…but you’d still sway me away from anywhere, wouldn’t you?”

 

_200 days after the accident_

“See? That’s you-“Baekhyun placed his finger on the bigger shape in the picture, “and that’s me.”

“Are those mine?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes. You’ve painted them all.”

He smiled, taking the photo with his fingers and dangling it in the air, in before his eyes. “Can I keep it?”

“Sure.”

“Baekhyun. Kyungsoo.” he whispered, still staring at the picture. “Baekhyun. Kyungsoo. Baekhyun. Baekhyun…”

The words turned into a whisper, repeated as his eyes were not leaving the photo with the two of them. Baekhyun looked around.

A nurse stopped by his side, smiling slightly.

“That’s what he does…when he wants to remember something. It works for about 15 minutes, but then he forgets.” the woman said.

“Are you Joy?”

“Yes.” she nodded. “How is Chanyeol?”

“Good…he’s good.” Baekhyun said.

“Baekhyun…Baekhyun…Baekhyun…” Kyungsoo kept saying, sometimes louder, giving him a glance before his gaze would return to the picture in his hands.

“I…”

“You can go…this is almost like a trance for him. There’s nothing you can do. But coming here to see him helps.” Joy said, looking at Kyungsoo. “He’s been happier and he’s drawing got better.”

“Okay…I…I’ll come next week, alright?” Baekhyun said, looking at the other.

He stood up, pushing the chair underneath the table. “Let him have that…He seems to…”

“Enjoy it? Yeah…he does.” she said. “Say hi to Chanyeol from me. I kind of miss having him around.”

“I will.” Baekhyun smiled.

He looked one more time at Kyungsoo who hadn’t stopped repeating his name. In front of him, the white paper had a couple of shapes drawn onto it, two people drawn in red and blue, holding hands. It looked like the better thing that he had made.

Baekhyun faltered on the spot, still staring at the piece of paper. Then, Kyungsoo looked up at him and everything suddenly felt so repetitive, the way his mouth was slightly ajar or the fact that his cheeks had a tinge of pink; he thought like that had happened over and over again, crashing onto him like a wave on the shore, taking sand and debris with it, deep into the sea.

He turned around and walked, faster and faster, until he was running, pushing the entrance doors and stopping in front of the hospital’s lawn. The air was cold, prickling his skin, making his nostrils hurt as he inhaled. His fingers were trembling, as well as his legs. Baekhyun massaged them both, starting from his knees, going up on his thighs that were beginning to ache. Only a couple of months ago he had been in a wheelchair.

 

_75 days before the accident_

Baekhyun stopped, placing both hands on his hips.

“That’s my favorite.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asked, leaning over his shoulder blade.

“Mhm…I like the colors.” he whispered, looking at him.

“Or do you like your face on it?”

“Maybe that too…who can say?”

“We will buy this.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asked, stepping aside from Baekhyun.

“Of course. Anything to support you.” the woman said.

“Seulgi…”

“I think we’ve been friends for quite some time to stop being ashamed. Plus…Baekhyun looks more handsome than usual in this.” she smiled, glancing at him.

“Is Sehun here?”

“Of course. You’ll find him where the wine is.” she said.

“Right.” Baekhyun smiled. “Excuse me.”

He walked between people looking at various paintings and sculptures across the walls until, in the back of the white room, he saw the man, drinking alone.

“Bad day?”

“Bad month.” Sehun laughed. “She won’t talk to me.”

“Why?”

“Because…elections are near and my team and me in particular are doing a bad job at representing the man our country should see. They only see an almost alcoholic who spends the money made by his wife on useless shit. That’s what she said, by the way.” he said, gulping down the rest of the wine.

“She’ll come around.” Baekhyun said, taking a glass of wine himself.

“Better living as artists. Even sex is better, right?” Sehun laughed, again, finishing the second glass since the beginning of their talk.

“I wouldn’t…I think you should stop drinking though.”

“One more.”

“Just one. Sex is fine, you know, just…sex.”

“Does your Kyungsoo complain about you too? Maybe in a more artistic kind of way?”

“Sometimes. I came because I want to know…will you support my law that I want to propose in the Senate?”

“Sure…why not.” Sehun said.

The third glass was empty.

“Why noooot?”

“Look…we’ll talk when you are sober.”

“But I am sober.” Sehun said and grinned, leaning on the wall as his breathe was beginning to smell like alcohol; even his clothes and skin.

“Go home. Call a taxi.”

“I’m fiiiine, Baekhyun. Just fine. I’m not a light head, I’m just a little little tiny bit sad.” he said, moving from the wall to the round table.

Baekhyun sighed, looking at him.

“Just a little bit sad. Isn’t everyone…just a little bit sad all the time?” he asked, pouring himself another glass.

 

_360 days after the accident_

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, looking at him from the bed.

“Yes?”

“Let’s take a long holiday away from everything.”

“But…why?”

“Don’t you want to?” he asked, shifting on the bed until he was standing on his belly and leaning on his elbows.

“But you have work at the University…isn’t that…?”

“I can take some more time off. Maybe write a book…spend time with you…”

“Are we really a couple?”

“Of course.” Baekhyun laughed.

“But we don’t…”

“Don’t think about that. That’s not the most important part of it.”

“But I read that it is and I just…”

“Look at me.” Baekhyun said, standing up from the bed, stopping in front of him. “I…maybe because I’ve been through 3 surgeries and 2 were on my brain but…I don’t feel the need to have sex. With anyone. I thought I did, but I don’t. We can…just kiss if you want.”

“Really?”

“Mhm…”

“What about Kyungsoo…?”

“He doesn’t remember me. I’ll visit him one last time this Friday and then we’ll go wherever you want, far away from this shit and this house, okay?”

“Okay…” Chanyeol smiled, intertwining their fingers, as Baekhyun sighed and closed his eyes.

_362 days after the accident_

 

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo pointed at the man in the picture with a big grin on his face. “I wrote it down so I would remember. Baekhyun.”

“He’s been filling pages with your name.” Joy said. “Every day for a couple of weeks now. He has finally managed to remember it without reading it from the photo.”

“Really? Did he?” he asked.

The woman nodded, looking at Kyungsoo.

“That’s me…but I don’t remember my name.” he said. “I…what did I want to show him?” Kyungsoo asked Joy.

“Your drawing.” she smiled.

“My drawing…where did I…”

“Here.” Joy said, walking away to one of the shelves on the wall, returning seconds later, holding a piece of paper between her fingers. “It’s really good, actually.”

“It is…” Baekhyun smiled. “Who is it?”

“Baekhyun and me.” Kyungsoo said. “I tried drawing like in the photo but…”

“It looks amazing.”

“Does it?”

“Yes…it is. It’s like you used to draw.” Baekhyun said.

“I…want to be like in the past.” Kyungsoo said. “You’re nice to me. I…like you.”

“I like you too.”

“No.” Kyungsoo shook his head. “I think I…” he looked around, stopping on Joy for a couple of moments before he looked again at Baekhyun, “I love you.”

“Kyungsoo…”

It was quiet for a while as Kyungsoo kept staring blankly at one spot on the table. “Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m sorry he…” Joy said.

“I know. It’s better this way.”

“You can stay a little longer. Your presence really makes him feel better.”

“I can’t. I’m leaving for one year and I just can’t…why haven’t they put android parts into his brain? I mean…why let him live this way?!“

“He signed some forms.” she whispered. “He…requested to be left like this.”

“But why? As a punishment or what?”

“I don’t know. But he’s remembering things. He memorized your name and that photo you gave him. Kyungsoo really wants you to be a part of his life even though he cannot remember much. Why can’t you understand? He still feels inside, in a part of his brain, that you were what-“

“And that’s why he tried to kill me? I only pity him. But he did it with his own hands.” Baekhyun said, leaving the room as Joy looked back at Kyungsoo, drawing with a blue pencil over the image she had given him.

 

Baekhyun fell on the sidewalk, holding his knees with both arms. The same song from the café suddenly came to his mind, slower and almost a whisper.

He closed his eyes.

Kyungsoo was there, in a hospital room, all his past somehow impregnated in those eyes and lips and mind. Everything he had left behind was right in there, seeping to the surface. He bit on his lips, hard, until blood was trickling into his mouth, warm, making him want to puke.

_Sway me away from here…_

All that he could think about was Kyungsoo saying those words to him, dancing in that small café, the lights out and the scent of lavender and chocolate surrounding them. He wanted to remember everything, to know everything for himself, who he had been.

But his mind was blank, fragments of memories he made up, faces of people he had never seen but imagined; all the possible scenarios for him and Kyungsoo, smiling, holding hands, laughing in all those photos.

_Sway me away from here…_

That was what he was about to do.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> explanation time lol  
> (1) there are 3 possibilites for who might have actually happened to Baekhyun during the day of the accident:  
> -seulgi tried to kill him in order to protect herself, as baekhyun knew about her cooking the books  
> -kyungsoo unknowingly tried to kill him  
> -it was really just an unfortunate accident, with no one behind it at all  
> (2) i chose not to explicitely show who the "killer" is because this is mostly written from baekhyun's perspective and all the things he finds out on his own; it's clear by the end of it that he didn't find the whole truth, but honestly, i don't think he wants to; he either believes seulgi (which i doubt) or chose to turn a blind eye to everything and start from zero with chanyeol, as to why he chooses to go on a vacantion with him  
> (3) i think there were a couple more things to say but i can't remember right now...oh yeah, i like the fragmented time frame idea even though at some point i felt like i should have switched some scenes with others; i didn't because it would have probably turned messy so i left it as in the initial order.
> 
> comments are well loved:)
> 
> hope you have a wonderful day!


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